"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said.
"But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.
The WC story and more is a site with clean christian humor for the whole family.
A tired pastor was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away."
An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened ... not a sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, "Well, My Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"
The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman caller, and she couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.
The quick-thinking pastor's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure you'll be glad to greet her."
Three pastors went to the pastor convention and were all sharing one room. The first pastor said, "Let's confess our secret sins one to another. I'll start - my secret sin is I just love to gamble. When I go out of town, it's cha-ching cha-ching, let the machines ring."
The second pastor said, "My secret sin is that I just hate working. I copy all my sermons from those given by other pastors."
The third pastor said, "My secret sin is gossiping and, oh boy, I just can't wait to get out of this room!"
A minister was walking to church one morning when he passed one of his members working in his garden. "Can't you hear those bells calling you to church?" asked the minister.
"Eh, what's that?" said the member.
"Can't you hear those bells calling you to church?"
"I'm afraid you'll have to speak a little louder!" said the member.
"CAN'T YOU HEAR THOSE BELLS CALLING YOU TO CHURCH?!" shouted the minister.
"I'm sorry said the man.. I can't hear you because of those loud bells."
AFRIKAANS | gelukkige nuwejaar / voorspoedige nuwejaar |
AKPOSSO | ilufio ètussé |
ALBANIAN | Gëzuar vitin e ri |
ALSATIAN | e glëckliches nëies / güets nëies johr |
ARABIC | عام سعيد (aam saiid) / sana saiida |
ARMENIAN | shnorhavor nor tari |
ATIKAMEKW | amokitanone |
AZERI | yeni iliniz mubarek |
BAMBARA | aw ni san'kura / bonne année |
BASAA | mbuee |
BASQUE | urte berri on |
BELARUSIAN | З новым годам (Z novym hodam) |
BENGALI | subho nababarsho |
BERBER | asgwas amegas |
BETI | mbembe mbu |
BOBO | bonne année |
BOSNIAN | sretna nova godina |
BRETON | bloavezh mat / bloavez mad |
BULGARIAN | честита нова година (chestita nova godina) |
BURMESE | hnit thit ku mingalar pa |
CANTONESE | sun lin fi lok / kung hé fat tsoi |
CATALAN | bon any nou |
CHINESE | xin nian kuai le / xin nian hao |
CORSICAN | pace e salute |
CROATIAN | sretna nova godina |
CZECH | šťastný nový rok |
DANISH | godt nytår |
DARI | sale naw tabrik |
DUALA | mbu mwa bwam |
DUTCH | gelukkig nieuwjaar |
ENGLISH | happy new year |
ESPERANTO | feliĉan novan jaron |
ESTONIAN | head uut aastat |
EWE | eƒé bé dzogbenyui nami |
EWONDO | mbembe mbu |
FAROESE | gott nýggjár |
FINNISH | onnellista uutta vuotta |
FLEMISH | gelukkig nieuwjaar |
FRENCH | bonne année |
FRISIAN | lokkich neijier |
FRIULAN | bon an |
GALICIAN | feliz aninovo |
GEORGIAN | გილოცავთ ახალ წელს (gilocavt akhal tsels) |
GERMAN | ein gutes neues Jahr / prost Neujahr |
GREEK | kali chronia / kali xronia eutichismenos o kainourgios chronos (we wish you a happy new year) |
GUJARATI | sal mubarak / nootan varshabhinandan |
GUARANÍ | rogüerohory año nuévo-re |
HAITIAN CREOLE | bònn ané |
HAOUSSA | barka da sabuwar shekara |
HAWAIIAN | hauoli makahiki hou |
HEBREW | שנה טובה (shana tova) |
HERERO | ombura ombe ombua |
HINDI | nav varsh ki subhkamna |
HMONG | nyob zoo xyoo tshiab |
HUNGARIAN | boldog új évet |
ICELANDIC | gleðilegt nýtt ár |
INDONESIAN | selamat tahun baru |
IRISH GAELIC | ath bhliain faoi mhaise |
ITALIAN | felice anno nuovo, buon anno |
JAVANESE | sugeng warsa enggal |
JAPANESE | akemashite omedetô |
KABYLIAN | asseggas ameggaz |
KANNADA | hosa varshada shubhaashayagalu |
KASHMIRI | nav reh mubarakh |
KAZAKH | zhana zhiliniz kutti bolsin |
KHMER | sur sdei chhnam thmei |
KIEMBU | ngethi cya mwaka mweru |
KINYARWANDA | umwaka mwiza |
KIRUNDI | umwaka mwiza |
KOREAN | 새해 복 많이 받으세요 (seh heh bok mani bat uh seyo) |
KURDE | sala we ya nû pîroz be |
LAO | sabai di pi mai |
LATIN | felix sit annus novus |
LATVIAN | laimīgu Jauno gadu |
LIGURIAN | bón ànno nêuvo |
LINGALA | bonana / mbula ya sika elamu na tonbeli yo |
LITHUANIAN | laimingų Naujųjų Metų |
LOW SAXON | gelükkig nyjaar |
LUXEMBOURGEOIS | e gudd neit Joër |
MACEDONIAN | Среќна Нова Година (srekna nova godina) |
MALAGASY | arahaba tratry ny taona |
MALAY | selamat tahun baru |
MALAYALAM | nava varsha ashamshagal |
MALTESE | is-sena t-tajba |
MANGAREVAN | kia porotu te ano ou |
MAORI | kia hari te tau hou |
MARATHI | navin varshaachya hardik shubbheccha |
MARQUISIAN | kaoha nui tenei ehua hou |
MOHAWK | ose:rase |
MONGOLIAN | Шинэ жилийн баярын мэнд хvргэе (shine jiliin bayariin mend hurgeye) |
MORÉ | wênd na kô-d yuum-songo |
NDEBELE | umyaka omucha omuhle |
NGOMBALE | ngeu' shwi pong mbeo paghe |
NORWEGIAN | godt nyttår |
OCCITAN | bon annada |
ORIYA | subha nababarsa / naba barsara hardika abhinandan |
OURDOU | naya sar Mubarak |
PAPIAMENTU | felis anja nobo |
PASHTO | nawe kaalmo mobarak sha |
PERSIAN | سال نو مبارک (sâle no mobârak) |
POLISH | szczęśliwego nowego roku |
PORTUGUESE | feliz ano novo |
PUNJABI | ਨਵੇਂ ਸਾਲ ਦੀਆਂ ਵਧਾਈਆਂ (nave saal deeyan vadhaiyaan) |
ROMANCHE | bun di bun onn |
ROMANI | baxtalo nevo bersh |
ROMANIAN | un an nou fericit / la mulţi ani |
RUSSIAN | С Новым Годом (S novim godom) |
SAMOAN | ia manuia le tausaga fou |
SANGO | nzoni fini ngou |
SARDINIAN | bonu annu nou |
SCOTTISH GAELIC | bliadhna mhath ur |
SERBIAN | srećna nova godina / Срећна нова година |
SHIMAORE | mwaha mwema |
SHONA | goredzva rakanaka |
SINDHI | nain saal joon wadhayoon |
SINHALESE | ශුභ අළුත් අවුරුද්දක් වේවා (shubha aluth awuruddak weiwa) |
SLOVAK | šťastný nový rok |
SLOVENIAN | srečno novo leto |
SOBOTA | dobir leto |
SOMALI | sanad wanagsan |
SPANISH | feliz año nuevo |
SRANAN | wan bun nyun yari |
SWAHILI | mwaka mzuri / heri ya mwaka mpya |
SWEDISH | gott nytt år |
SWISS-GERMAN | es guets Nöis |
TAGALOG | manigong bagong taon |
TAHITIAN | ia orana i te matahiti api |
TAMAZIGHT | assugas amegaz |
TAMIL | iniya puthandu nalVazhthukkal |
TATAR | yaña yıl belän |
TELUGU | నూతన సంవత్శర శుభాకాంక్షలు (nuthana samvathsara subhakankshalu) |
THAI | สวัสดีปีใหม่ (sawatdii pimaï) |
TIBETAN | tashi delek / losar tashi delek |
TIGRE | sanat farah wa khare |
TSHILUBA | tshidimu tshilenga |
TSWANA | itumelele ngwaga o mosha |
TULU | posa varshada shubashaya |
TURKISH | yeni yılınız kutlu olsun |
TWENTS | gluk in'n tuk |
UDMURT | Vyľ Aren |
UKRAINIAN | Щасливого Нового Року / З Новим роком (Z novym rokom) |
URDU | naya saal mubarik |
UZBEK | yangi yilingiz qutlug' bo'lsin |
VIETNAMESE | Chúc Mừng Nǎm Mới / Cung Chúc Tân Niên / Cung Chúc Tân Xuân |
WALOON | ene boune anéye, ene boune sintéye |
WALOON ("betchfessîs" spelling) | bone annéye / bone annéye èt bone santéye |
WELSH | blwyddyn newydd dda |
WEST INDIAN CREOLE | bon lanné |
WOLOF | dewenati |
XHOSA | nyak'omtsha |
YIDDISH | a gut yohr |
ZULU | unyaka omusha omuhle |
May all ur troubles last as long as ur Nw Yr's resolutions!
Da object of a nw yr is not dat we should have a nw yr.
It is dat we should have a nw soul.
Drop da last yr in2 da silent limbo of da past.
Let it go, 4 it was imperfect, & thank God dat it can go.
10. Read less. 1. Take up a new habit.. thats not good for you.
9. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
8. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
7. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
6. Procrastinate more.
5. Drink. Drink some more.
4. Start being superstitious.
3. Spend more time at work.
2. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. and last but not least...