Aeroplanes in the Bible

Miss Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
      
      "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
      
      "I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said.
      
      "But who's the fourth person?"
      
      "Oh, that's Pontius-the Pilot.

Ask Jonah about the whale

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal,
its throat is very small.
The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale."
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. "It is physically impossible!" she said.

Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

"Then you can ask him"

Shirley Goodnest and Mercy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. he didn't want her to walk with him, and she wanted to give him a feeling of independence. but she also wanted to know that he was safe.
When she expressed her concern to her neighbor, Shirley offered to follow him to school every morning for a while, staying at a distance so he wouldnt notice. Shirley said that since she was up early with her toddler anyways, it will be a good way for them to get some execcise.
All week long, Shirley and her daughter folloewd Timmy as he walked to school with another neighborhood girl.
As the two children walked and chatted, kickins stones and twigs, Timmy's friend said,'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?
Timmy replied, 'Yes, I know who she is. That's my mom's friend Shirley Goodnest and her litle girl Marcy'.
Shirley Goodnest? Why is she following us?
Well, Timmy explained, every night my mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all days of my life. I guess I'll just have to get used to it.

Which Virgin.. OOPs Version

The little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first little children's Bible, in an easy-to- read translation, when she was very young.
Now, a decade or so later, the old lady was ready to spend a few sweet moments handing down the big old Family Bible, in the time-honored King James Version, to her only grandchild. Understandably excited, the youngster was asking a number of questions, both about the family members whose births and deaths were recorded therein, and about various aspects of the Scriptures themselves.
Her grandmother was endeavoring to answer all the child's questions in terms she could understand; but the one that stopped her cold was this sincere inquiry:
"Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? Was it the Virgin Mary, or the King James Virgin?"

Adam's Underwear

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it closely. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

The Hushers

Six year old Angie and her four year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church," she hissed at Joel

. "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel shot back.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?" Joel nodded.

"They're hushers."

Song about a Bear in Sunday School

A young boy attended his first Sunday School class and he was relating the events of the day to his mother. "We sang a song about a bear," he proudly said.
"You sang a song about a bear?" His mother asked.
"Yes," he piped up. "We sang a song about a bear that was cross-eyed."
His mother blinked. "You sang a song about a bear that was cross-eyed?" she asked, wondering what this had to do with Sunday School.
"Uh-huh. We sang a song about a bear that was cross-eyed and his name was Gladly," her son explained.
His mother pressed. "What do you mean?"
With a big smile, he said, "We sang 'Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear.'"

The Poor Preacher

The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church.
After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church.
"Good morning, Jonathan," the preacher said as he reached out to shake Joanthan's hand. As he was doing do he felt something in the palm of Jonathan's hand.
"What's this?" the preacher asked.
"Money," said Jonathan with a big smile on his face, "It's for you!"
"I don't want to take your money, Jonathan," the preacher answered.
"I want you to have it," said Jonathan.
After a short pause Jonathan continued, "My daddy says you're the poorest preacher we ever had and I want to help you."

The Priest's Collar

A priest was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"
He told him he was a priest and this is the uniform priests wear. Then the boy pointed to the priest's plastic collar tab and asked, "Do you have an owie?"
The priest was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar tab looked like a band aid. So the priest took it out and handed it to the boy to show him. On the back of the tab are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer.
The little guy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what those words say?" "Yes I do," said the lad who was not old enough to read. Peering intently at the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!"

The Ring Bear

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd alternating between the bride's side and the groom's side. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws
and roar...so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear!"

Pretty good for a dime.

A man and his ten-year-old son were on a fishing trip miles
from home. At the boy's insistence, they decided to attend the
Sunday worship service at a small rural church.
As they walked back to their car after the service, the father
complained. "The service was too long," he lamented. "The
sermon was boring, and the singing was off key."
Finally the boy said, "Daddy, I thought it was pretty good
for a dime."