Why do we stay quiet in church?

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
“And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
One bright little girl replied,
“Because people are sleeping.”

Sleeping in Church

A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the
Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off.

The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent
hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him.

He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in
heaven, please stand."

The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man.

Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And he who would like to
find a place in hell please STAND UP!"

The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing.

Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"

Song about a Bear in Sunday School

A young boy attended his first Sunday School class and he was relating the events of the day to his mother. "We sang a song about a bear," he proudly said.
"You sang a song about a bear?" His mother asked.
"Yes," he piped up. "We sang a song about a bear that was cross-eyed."
His mother blinked. "You sang a song about a bear that was cross-eyed?" she asked, wondering what this had to do with Sunday School.
"Uh-huh. We sang a song about a bear that was cross-eyed and his name was Gladly," her son explained.
His mother pressed. "What do you mean?"
With a big smile, he said, "We sang 'Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear.'"

Painting the Church

Two men were down on their luck and decided to paint houses to earn some extra money. To start their business they asked the priest of the local church if he would be interested in their service.

He agreed and the men went out to buy the paint. As they drove to the paint store they decided that they would mix half paint and half water to try to increase their profits.

When they finished the job they called the priest outside to look at their work. "It looks wonderful," said the priest. As he started to hand them the check a small rain cloud appeared. All at once there was lightning and thunder and the area around the church was drenched with rain. As the rain hit the ward building, the paint started running. Suddenly, as the three of them stood there in disbelief, a voice from heaven said ...

"Repaint and thin no more."